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JAVASCRIPT IS FUCKIG EVIL

THATS RITE MOTHERFUCKER JAVASCRIPT IS A PLAUGE ON THIS EARHT AND I WANT IT DEAD

REASON 1: Tracking

u arent crazy if theyre really out to get u

JavaScript is used across the internet to track you. Tracking is nothing new - it used to be done with 1x1 pixel PNGs that would be completely invisible to the user, but would allow Facebook, Google, and any corporation that wanted a couple bucks to track you based on your IP, etc. Modern JavaScript-based tracking techniques, however, are much more sophisticated and allow for these corporations to almost distinguish you perfectly from anyone else - even in your home. They use canvases to perfectly fingerprint your browser, OS, etc. They have advanced techniques to even tell who is using a shared computer based on browsing habits.

REASON 2: Bloat

i beat jquery usersu p out front their house :DDD

JavaScript has largely contributed to the horrifically bloated "modern" web design that every startup and corporation wants to hawk as "the new thing". Really, we should build small static pages that run on a variety of browsers - new and old - using highly accessible "frameworks" that we build ourselves. Let's face it - your shitty Bootstrap 5 site looks exactly the same as anybody elses - shit!

REASON 3: Unnecessary

i dont use it why shouldd u

For large websites like Mastodon and Google, JavaScript is a must. It helps deliver extra functionality to those sites that DO need it. HOWEVER, your personal site DOES NOT REQUIRE JAVASCRIPT! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU can build a SEXY HOMEPAGE with JUST CSS and HTML. NOTHING ON YOUR SITE NEEDS TO BE DYNAMIC!!! JUST MAKE A FUCKING STATIC SI

Toby "Tobert" Sauftwerks was found unconscious in his office at 3:38 PM on November 25th, 2023. It was later found that he experienced a mild seizure while writing this page. Due to brain damage caused by said seizure, he can now only write in the third person.